Accept your story, let go what you need to, and start leaning into your evolution.
A Yoga Teacher dropout.
Yeah it’s true. During a dark point in my life I decided I wanted to be a yoga instructor. I had a deep need to find inner balance and peace with the world around me. “I like yoga, it makes me feel better. Why not teach it?” After 3 weekends of doing nothing but studying niyamas and yamas, I decided it wasn’t for me.
Why? It wasn’t because I was a terrible person and I believed the fundamental philosophy was wrong. But because I had been so scarred by doctrine from my past. To understand my story is to understand that things effect people in a multitude of different ways for good and bad. In my case, I am still battling these traumas that I am just now shaping into something that I want to pursue.
I was raised in a millenarian restorationist Christian denomination with non-trinitarian beliefs distinct from mainstream Christianity. That sounds like a mouthful, and it is. But essentially, the religion did not tolerate disagreement of doctrines and practices and expected members to conform to rather strict standards. My life up to that point was running away from that and I realized being a yoga teacher was taking me down the same path that I had been trying to run away from.
That’s where this website comes in. I have had a website since 2010 when I took a web development class in college. I studied Fine Art at UNCG and majored in Design. During that time I aspired to be an artist, where I would use my website to showcase my art. That was until I realized that sharing my art would mean sharing my self.
It has taken years for me to get to this point. To write on a public website my feelings and beliefs about how my background shaped who I am for better or worse. I got to this point after years of having my heart broken, multiple jobs, feeling lost and sinking deeper into a revolving cycle of self hate and giving up.
I decided I w